California Legal Advice for Custodial Single Parent in battle??

I'm a single mother of a 9 year old. Her absent father all of the sudden sent me papers regarding a court date in June requesting child custody and visitation.





This startled me; I'm upset and worried, and won't mention anything to my daughter until I know exactly what to do, because this will really scare her. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure she is and feels safe. I can't assure her that not knowing what to expect and be prepared. Any help, links, lawyer contacts, referrals to someone that might know what to do would be greatly appreciated.California Legal Advice for Custodial Single Parent in battle??
I am no expert but have a few years of being a minister dealing with issues such as this. The most important factor is that the priority in court always goes with the mother because she has a maternal bond with a child..the Dad does not.





The question that comes into play in court is if he can provide evidence of your not being of good character, a risk to the children, etc. Depending upon your financial position, there should be a community legal association that will assist you at no or reduced charge in this matter.





A key factor to remember is to remain calm as you can. If he sees you are showing signs of panic, he will try all the harder to push. I suggest you dig up every last piece of valid evidence you can to prove why he would be a risk to the children if given custody.





I am assuming you are squeaky clean on your side of the fence with nothing negligible for him to use as ammunition in his case.California Legal Advice for Custodial Single Parent in battle??
First, you need to ask yourself this question: Do you not want him in your daughter's life because you are afraid of that he could harm your daughter or because you don't like him? There is a huge difference. If her father is a bad person whom you are afraid could either physically harm your daughter, possibly harm her mentally like telling her terrible things about you and trying to turn her against you, then by all means, run, do not walk to get an attorney that will tear him to shreds if need be! However, if you just don't like him because of the way you two ended it, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to get scared. For example, if he left you when he found out you were pregnant, then he was a prick, but maybe after 9 years, he has grown up and realized what a jerk he's been and that he is truly missing out on life's most amazing, rewarding, and toughest job: parenting. If this happens to be the case, even if you don't like him and don't even think he deserves to be her dad, she deserves to know who her biological father is. If he still is a jerk, your daughter will realize this, but at least now she knows that her bio dad did want to be a part of her life. Even is she doesn't talk about it to you, I promise you that it hurts her everyday that she has had a dad out there that wanted nothing to do with her. She may even blame herself as being the reason that you and him aren't together.


I have watched my nephew grow up without a dad. His sperm donator left when he was 2 months old, saw him on easter when he was 2 years old, and took him out for ice cream when he was 3. He's now 15. Of course, my family hated the guy to begin with and we were thrilled beyond belief when he left and hoped he would never enter into my nephew's life again. (My sister never let us speak badly of him though, which is the right thing to do, but when my nephew would brag about how cool his dad was after he took him for ice cream, it was hard to bite our tongue!) But now my nephew is in the crazy teenage years, the most hormonal, confusing time of our life, and I see how sad he is. I watch his face when the other boys talk about going on fishing or hunting trips with their dads and it makes me want to cry. How could anyone not love this kid like I do? How can he not give him a chance? I hate this man for a different reason now. Not because he was a jerk to my sister, telling everyone in town the reason he didn't see my nephew was because she wouldn't allow it, which was so untrue. I hate him because he doesn't want to see my nephew. I know he is still the same idiot he was 15 years ago, still doing drugs, still getting DWIs, still not working, but I want my nephew to know he is loved by as many people as possible. I want him to be the one to decide that he doesn't want his father in his life because he chooses for it to be that way, not the other way around.


So whatever the case, I think this is good news for your daughter. At least now she can meet him and decide for herself what kind of ';dad'; he is. But she will not have to live with the saddness of not knowing why he never wanted to meet her. I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope this turns out the way its supposed to be. Your daughter and my nephew deserve to be loved and wanted by as many people as possible.